Eggshells & Oddities

A CAT scan full of cobwebs

June 5th, 2006 at 11:12 am (Eggshells)

Austin has this huge annual biker rally. The biggest one in Texas. It was going on this past weekend. So I got on my Harley Saturday morning and rode out there. I spent a few hours walking around, seeing everything there was to see. Had one beer, bought a bottle of water and decided to head out on the road again. I went to this one biker friendly place I knew of and had a couple more beers and listened to the band for a while. All the while, it’s a sunny day and about 100 degrees. I left that place and rode for about an hour to another place I knew of in the hill country west of Austin to get something to eat. It’s a great place to ride, very scenic and little traffic. So I got to the place, parked my bike under a tree and went in and ordered an ice water and a beer. I had been out in the sun for about 6 hours and I figured I could use some water more than I needed a beer.
As I was drinking my water and beer, I was talking to this woman who claimed to have been in a 60’s radical group called the Weathermen. She was very interesting but all the while I’m listening to her, I’m starting to feel faint. I’m sweating bullets and getting nauseous and dizzy. The water isn’t helping. I only had two or three sips out of the beer.

That’s when I passed out and went down. I woke up on the floor with someone holding a towel with ice against my head. I had split my noggin open when I hit the floor. They called an ambulance and the EMT’s started me on oxygen and an IV. I was conscious and was able to answer all their questions.
“What’s your name?” “Geno”
“What day is it?” “Saturday”
“Who’s the president of the United States?” “Don’t even get me started.”
So they took me away in the ambulance to the hospital to get my head looked at. The ride was awful, I was still dizzy and nauseous and every bump just made it worse. But the IV seemed to be working and the fluids were getting back into my body. The doctor was nice enough. He asked what happened and I told him that I figured I passed out from being out in the 100 degree heat all day and not drinking any water or eating anything. He asked whether I had spilled something on the front of my pants and I told him no, that I figured I must have wet myself after I went down. The doctor doesn’t like that. He thinks I had a seizure and wants a CAT scan. All I want is to get my head stitched up so I can go home, get out of my wet jeans and lay in the bathtub. So they take me to get a chest Xray (I don’t know why) and then they took me to get a CAT scan. I told the CAT Scan girl that she wasn’t going to find anything in there but cobwebs.
Then they wheel me back to my emergency room cubicle and I wait. The doctor comes back and said that the CAT scan came up empty but he still wants me to promise to see a neurologist before he’ll stitch up my head. I crossed my fingers and make the promise and he finally starts tending to my gaping head wound. The gash is about two inches long, but the doctor closed it up tight with a stapler. I asked if he had a red stapler, but either he never saw Office Space or he just didn’t have much of a sense of humor. So anyway, he signed me out with a note that says I shouldn’t drive or work for five days. But no painkiller prescription. What a gyp.
So anyway, I called the bar and they promised to take care of my bike. They’re real nice people.
My best friend in Austin was out of town on a harmonica convention or something so I called his wife and she drove out to the hill country to get my keys and then drove down to the hospital to get me. I told her about the empty CAT scan and she laughed. I’m glad I have at least one really good friend in this town.
So that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I guess the moral of the story is that bikers should always wear a helmet, even inside the bar.