I WON THE LOTTERY!!!
Last night, in my normal Saturday night drunken stupor, I stopped at the quik mart store to pick up some smokes and figured, what the hell, I’ll get some lotto tickets. When I woke up this morning and checked my tickets and saw that I had won, I almost had a heart attack.
Now I can get that giant 40 foot recreational vehicle I’ve always dreamed of having. I can buy a huge BBQ and roast some endangered spotted owls. I CAN FINALLY BE A REPUBLICAN!! WOO HOO!!!
Yeah, April Fools.
I may not have really win the lottery, but at least I can get some free wi-fi from Google now.